all that jazz
by SebonzaMitsuki27
Summary: Rude, Elena, Reno. 30 friends. Between here and gone.
1. platonic love

**all **_that_ jazz

theme 01: platonic love

* * *

It's Elena who named the baby.

… the chocobo baby.

It's Elena who named the chocobo baby.

Rude was bemused, Reno disproved.

Elena, oblivious, cooed at the yellow-feathered creature, nuzzling her cheek against the cute bird.

"Have no worries, we're going to take care of you. 'Cause we're a happy family and we'll always love you. And if not us, then Rufus. You'd never know it, but he's a softie at heart. Provided you can use your secret weapon: those large eyes, and a soft _kweh!_ He'll be wrapped around your feathers in no time. It works miracles for me."

Rude, unmoved by this heart-warming scene, wondered if their latest addition to the 'family' was actually storing the information for future purposes.

Reno, warily stepping closer to the two of them, was slowly becoming drawn the allure of innocent radiance.

"Aw, would ya look at that…" Emerald eyes glossed, once the chocobo baby met his eyes and chirped happily. "Maybe it's not such a bad idea, after all…"

It was too late for Reno to be saved from the monster of adorability.

Rude shook his head, not amused and not swayed.

He was a man made of steel, and would not crumble.

"C'mon on, Rude, join us." All three of them pleaded, communicating through their shiny eyes. "Just say yes!"

Well… steel can melt…

"…" Hesitating, he took a step back. "Will you at least _consider_ changing the name?"

"Why should I?" Elena pouted, tickling the feathery creature under its neck. "I named my teddy bear that when I was a child."

"But…" Hesitating on his reply, Rude sighed. "… it's so random_._"

"Doesn't matter. We've never wanted normality, after all." Reno shrugged, waving the complaint away, and gazing adoringly at the _snuggling_ baby bird.

"When we introduce our latest recruit—"

"Oh, _recruit_, is it?" Tiredly, Rude rubbed his eyes.

"—trust me, Rufus' not going to care about the name." Elena finished. "Or should we… mention… how we stumbled across our new friend?"

"… no. Alright. We're keeping her, solely for the purpose of being our mascot." Rude finally agreed, the steel finally succumbing to heat, now a puddle.

Rufus and Tseng must never know that he screamed, and was stuck in a tree, because he was terrified of a wailing fiend. It didn't help that the darkness and ominous sounds of lightning were there too. Reno and Elena snickered, trying, and failing spectacularly, to hide their laughter behind coughing fits, when they discovered the identity of the _fiend_… promptly falling in love with it.

Slightly uncomfortable, Rude quickly added. "… no harm must come to… Spuhluka."

Reno and Elena shared sneaky grins, giving each other high-fives.

"You've learnt how to blackmail him excellently." Reno smirked. "And come up with such an original name too."

"I learn from the best." Doing a gentle jig, she looked at young baby Spuhluka, her hazel eyes blinking slowly, before sparkling once more.

"Oh, look, Spuhluka's finally asleep…" Reno rested his hand on Elena's shoulder, peering at the slumbering chocobo baby.

Unable to resist any longer, Rude inched forward to obtain a better look.

… it _is_ very cute.

* * *

Disclaimer: ffvii does not belong to me.


	2. making mischief

**all **_that_ jazz

theme 20: making mischief

* * *

Unsurprisingly, Elena was afraid of spiders.

"Somebody? Anybody! Help me!" She called, panic rising with every word she spoke. "_Rude?_ … _Reno?_"

"What is it, 'Laney?" Reno replied, in another room, slightly miffed that he came second in seeking help. Scowling, he raked his hand through unkempt hair.

"There's a… a…" Her voice faltered, squirming as she even said the word, lowering into a whisper. "… _spider._"

"Oh yeah?" His lips curled, amused by this. "The big bad Turk Elena is afraid of an itty bitty spider?"

"Mm…" Like a child, the blonde Turk was slow to admit it. "They're so… _creepy._"

A scream followed, high pitched. Hers, naturally. Then, a concession of thrown objects happened next, which crashed into the wall, the obvious target missed; with a stream of insults aimed at the _creepy spider_.

"_Kill it! Kill it! Kill the eight-legged demonic demon that's hell spawn!"_

"… 'Laney." Reno bit back a laugh, amused by her vernacular. "Chill."

_Bang! Bang! Bang!_

The screaming, Reno could handle; the bullets, the walls could not.

"Hey, 'Lena, you fire that gun one more time – and it's coming out of your pay check."

The trial of killing a spider using a gun promptly stopped.

"Okay… take a deep breath, and listen to me…" Reno calmly said, pulling his EMR.

Better to come in looking like the whole business is serious, than flippantly brushing her off and act if the whole thing is a joke.

Well. If he didn't want to pay for reparations, that is.

* * *

"Is it… gone?"

"No, 'Laney. I trapped it with this glass. Look. Open your eyes. And stop clinging to Spuhluka."

"… why didn't you electrocute it and give it a painful death?"

Sigh.

"Elena. We have to treat animals with respect. You want me to electrocute an innocent chocobo?"

"No!"

"Good. Listen, _spiders_ are nothing more than octopi that can't swim, and are taken out of water."

"… but what about Daddy Longlegs?"

"Crane flies? Well… they're more like octopi that have traded the ability to _fly_ instead of swim."

"That doesn't sound so scary…"

"Right, which is why I'm throwing this bugger out the window."

"_What did you do that for?"_

"Elena. Courtesy can only last for so long."

* * *

"… why'd you do it, Reno?" Rude sighed as he drank another cup of tea, receiving the information when Elena had chattered on about the PHS. It took quite a while to recover from Elena-caused-migraines. "I know it was you; so don't even bother trying to deny it."

"What can I say, you know me too well." Reno grinned.

Then his expression sobered, strangely vengeful.

"Nobody face-paints me when I'm asleep and gets away with it."

Ah. Perhaps he _shouldn't_ tell Reno that he did it, not Elena.

* * *


	3. comfortable silence

**all **_that_ jazz

theme 15: comfortable silence

* * *

Living with Reno and Elena, meant that there was no such thing as _silence._

However, that didn't mean that Rude could get pretty close.

A blessing and curse in disguise.

… he did not like being the middle man.

* * *

Elena's on his left, snuggled up, head resting on his shoulder, locks of strawberry blonde hair, legs leaning on him and pressed against her chest, her hands tugging on his arm, pulling him towards her.

Reno's on his right, slumped, legs outstretched and dangling above the floor. One hand was around Rude's shoulder, possibly only to tickle Elena's ear – and she _giggled_ even as she slept.

The television murmured, Rude's own eyes glazed, as his head began to nod…

The silent Turk was a sandwich. Wrapped in a napkin.

Although he's not sure _how_ it happened, their fluffy yellow mascot decided that its favourite place, on nights like these, was Rude's feet.

He was trapped, unable to move and could not reach out and get the remote.

It's not silence, even as Reno sleep-talked; even as Elena laughed; even as Spuhluka rustled; even as Rude snored.

But that didn't mean that it wasn't comfortable.

* * *

In the morning, when they all awaken, slowly realizing from disorientation that they're on the couch, there's a brief interlude of silence.

Bearing in mind that Rude noted it's _brief. _

Elena blinked slowly. "Reno, your eyes… they're kind of apple green. Huh."

"Hmm, your eyes are kind of big…" Reno responded, still within the world of dream. "… like a kid."

And the bickering started.

"Are not!"

"Are too!"

Sighing mentally, and tickling the still slumbering baby chocobo with a slight nudge of his foot, Rude wondered if they could ever shut up.

Even if he's the middle man, that's not to say that this routine wasn't comfortable.

* * *


	4. passing notes

**all **_that_ jazz

theme 26: passing notes

* * *

_Reno—_

_Rude is brooding._

_What do I do?_

—_Elena._

* * *

'_Laney—_

_How can you __**tell**__ that he's brooding?_

—_Reno._

_

* * *

_

_Reno—_

_There is a great big emo cloud that I believe is suffocating me even as I write. I'd like him to stop._

_Plus, he's not one to be surrounded by purple._

… _I believe he does not like that colour._

—_Elena._

_

* * *

_

'_Lena—_

_Again: how do you know that?_

—_Reno._

_

* * *

_

_Reno—_

… _we went shopping together – choosing the wall colours of my bedroom. Stuff like that._

_Sorry you weren't invited._

_We bought sundaes. Why did you never tell me that he is an absolute addict to the flavour of peppermint?_

—_Elena._

_

* * *

_

_Elena—_

_Quite honestly, I didn't know._

_Although, no wonder there's something off about your room… it's the colour! It's __**hideous**__._

—_Reno._

_

* * *

_

_Reno—_

_Because tacky khaki is the way to go? No way am I changing the wall-colour just because it brings out a sparkle to your eyes. I think sky blue is just peachy._

_And um, can we get back on topic?_

_**How**__ do we stop __**Rude**__ from __**brooding**__?_

_

* * *

_

"Oh, hi, Rude!"

"Yeah, hi, Rude."

"… hi. Is there something the matter?" The bald Turk raised an eyebrow, slightly unsure of the atmosphere.

"No! _No_, of course not, why… why would something be the matter?" Jumpy and wide-eyed, Elena spoke quickly, trying to stuff the sheet of paper down the table, and failing exceptionally.

"Aside from the fact that you've been conversing with Reno via paper-airplanes, giving me covert glances, trying to act natural and yet, _somehow_, retaining the aura of a guilty person who hasn't yet been discovered, or abducted to jail for their crimes?" Dry, he asked.

"… yes. Beside that, Rude." Wringing her hands, another telltale sign of something not right, her cheeks flared, heating in embarrassment. She could never lie to her friends.

And the crumpled paper aeroplane fell to the fall, with all its scribbles, passengers that would most likely drown with the paper.

Pausing, Rude slowly picked the paper up, scanning the notes, his face becoming more and more intriguing.

"… huh."

_Whoosh!_

Another paper plane (Reno-styled, with a stamp of a chocobo added) flew, narrowly missing the shiny headed Turk's ear.

* * *

_You're screwed, aren't you?_

* * *

Said paper plane was promptly torn into shreds.

Reno pouted.

* * *

"Brooding, am I? A dark purple cloud that suffocates people with an overbearing presence, is it?" Only Reno noticed the amusement – the _trace _amusement – in Rude's voice that Elena clearly did not notice.

"Um…"

"Elena." A smile twitched on Rude's (otherwise) immobile face. "You could have asked."

"Who? Reno? 'Cause apparently, he didn't even know you _had _emotions."

"Oi!"

A sigh. A slight shake of the head.

One's a gossip queen and worrywart extraordinaire; the other's an absolutely kleptomaniac liar.

Was there any reason why they make such a ridiculous trio without the straight man?

"You could have asked me."

* * *


	5. party!

**all **_that_ jazz

theme 16: party!

* * *

Silence.

"… I think we made a mistake."

"…"

"You disagree."

"…"

"… you think I made a mistake?"

"…"

"… I hate you so much."

* * *

_Oh my god._

_Rude was carrying someone unconscious._

"_Please tell me that's not Elena." Slightly mortified, Reno whistled at the female Turk._

"… '_fraid so." Rude gravely replied. "Party's over."_

"_Don't look at me like that!" Reno snapped, irritated and guilty. "It's not __**my**__ fault!"_

_Rude's gaze could freeze the sun._

* * *

"Was it the gorgonzola?"

"… cheese is no enemy of hers." Rude shook his head, solemn.

"Was it the music that she was dancing to?"

"… no." Rude said, after a pause.

"Was it the alcohol?"

"…"

"Damn alcohol." Reno cussed, muttering under his breath.

"Reno. You were the one who knew she was a lightweight." Reprovingly, Rude reminded him. "And you took advantage of that fact."

* * *

_It was supposed to be something innocent. _

_Well. Innocent enough that wouldn't mean any lasting damage the next day. Rude supposed, as he decided to check on Elena once more._

_Drinking alcohol? Fine. _

_Dancing to music? Fine._

_Tasting nibbles of Midgar's smelliest cheese? Fine._

_Punching someone's face, the both of them clearly wasted?_

_Totally. Not. Fine._

* * *

"Come to the party, you said. You'll lighten up, you said. You'll have a great time, have some fun, you said. You'll thank me for it later, you said." Rude scowled, reaching for the remote, to switch on the television. Since he wasn't going anywhere, and neither was Reno, and the both of them weren't tired, they might as well make themselves comfortable on the sofa. "Has anyone told you that your predicting skills suck lately?"

It must be the alcohol, making him talk this much.

"… yeah, I bet 'Laney's more likely to sock me in the eye, than kiss me her gratitude." Reno mumbled darkly, slumping into the couch.

"You are such a terribly role model." Sighing, Rude was unable to resist poking Elena's red cheeks. _Ditz._

"Which is why we have you, I'm sure." Lethargically, Reno replied, casting his head back. "You look out for us, but especially her."

"… she's going to hate you in the morning." Rude shook his head.

"Not as much as you hate me."

"…"

A pointed look.

"… I deserved that." Reno conceded.

* * *

_So._

_There was this guy. This kinda cute guy._

_Although, that could have been the alcohol blurring her vision…_

_She couldn't see the harm in talking to him, dancing with him, but – there came a point when even cuteness cannot excuse behaviour. _

_The only logical point of action was to punch his brains out!_

_Although, maybe that was the alcohol blurring her common sense…_

_But… the fairies… the __**fairies**__ wanted her to find the golden chocobo that sparkled blue in the moonlight!_

_How she became sidetracked from that mission was a mystery._

_Although, maybe it really was the alcohol that had blurred her grip on reality…_

_Perhaps it's Reno._

_Yes._

_If nothing else, blame anything and everything on Reno._

_After all, he's a very good scapegoat._

… _before everything faded to black._

* * *

"Oh…" Elena did not want to wake up. Elena _did not want to wake up._ "My head…"

Rude was stroking her hair. It felt nice, and Elena's eyes fluttered shut, the light painful, the softest noises loud like a bullet of implosions.

"What happened…?" Moaning, she asked, curling up, with Reno (no one _else_ had hair that long, or smelt like pineapples and vanilla; Rude smelt of toffee and caramel and other stuff that reminded her of burnt sugar and peppermint) as her teddy bear.

'Twas punishment.

"You tell me." Reno sighed, voice somewhat muffled.

There may or may not be a pillow there. But said pillow could also be Rude.

"I remember defending your honour." Elena mumbled, sinking deeper into comfortable pillow, renascent of purgatory. "And… yours too, Rude."

"Ah." There's an ambiguity that needs to be cleared up: if the defending was done separately or together, and if anyone else was involved, but that could be done later.

"Reno… I don't feel so well…"

"I know, I know, it's my fault, love." Reno must have moved: his warmth was gone, and Elena missed it already. She sneezed; Reno had tickled her nose. "You'll be alright. Promise."

"Yeah, but…"

Rude sighed.

"Reno, get the bucket, or do something useful. _I can't move._"

* * *


	6. an ugly shirt

**all **_that_ jazz

theme 07: an ugly shirt

* * *

"You know," Reno drawled, "when push comes to shove, Elena really _will_ do what she said."

"…" Rude nodded. He could see that.

"And, y'know, you weren't _exactly subtle_ about it either…"

"…" His forehead creased, eyebrows arched like a stone deep in thought, the light causing extra shininess.

"Day and night, showing it off like it was your prized possession. You knew that Elena hated it with a passion."

'Hated' apparently was too weak a word.

"_But_, knowing you, it was for an ulterior motive, right? Because the instant she calmed down, she would realize what she'd done, and give you something nice as compensation." Reno sighed, smelling the fumes. "Which was your plan and idea all along. Genius."

"… affirmative." Rude let a smile flicker on his face. "Rufus can't pick casual wear. Elena has much better taste."

Devious masterminds.

"I'm totally going to do that one day." Reno grinned.

They only took advantage of Elena when it was _mutually_ beneficial for both parties, and Elena was completely oblivious to their plans.

Thus, the Ugliest Shirt In The World was burnt up in flames; Elena dancing to _Funky Town_, before the horrible realization of what she'd done sunk in.

* * *


	7. secrets and lies

**all **_that_ jazz

theme 08: secrets and lies

* * *

It was rare to find Reno asleep, since he was usually such a light sleeper.

This meant, or so Elena assumed, that he was either stoned (unlikely), extremely tired (also unlikely), or had drank too much alcohol (very likely).

And so an ingenious idea began to grow in the rookie Turk's mind.

* * *

Rude stopped, stared for about half a minute, raised one eyebrow, and finally asked the impending question that he wondered about for two minutes.

The petite woman was positively _glowing._

"… Elena. What are you doing?" He would be lying if he said that his voice was a little bit like a mentor reprimanding his favourite protégé, wary of her antics.

"Mm?" She smiled, brighter than sunshine. "Oh nothing. Although…" Her eyes glinted, charmed by whatever revelation occurred in her mind. "I bet you could help me."

"…"

"Come on, follow me." She said, leading him to the unconscious Reno.

* * *

Reno's fingernails were already painted in clashing colours, no immediate pattern coming to mind: black, yellow, red, orange, green, blue, pink, white and silver. It looked odd… to say the least.

"Huh."

"I haven't even started: I've got blusher, mascara, lipstick, and so on, girl stuff, you understand." Elena rubbed her hands in glee. "Lend me a hand?"

… it's not much, but Rude experimented with Reno's locks of red hair, eventually settling on plaits, for that 'country girl' look.

And, it's a look that brought out Reno's high cheekbones. Most fitting.

* * *

"Elena."

"Mmmhmm?" Elena finished with the face, and began to pull off Reno's socks.

"… what are we going to tell him?" Rude was quite… _curious_ to know.

"The truth!" She flashed him a grin. "He got so wasted that he did it to himself. Caught in a floozy state, deliria made him… pretty. Shiny. And the like."

"That's anything _but_ the truth." And actually, it sounded familiar, for some reason…

"Well, then – it'll be our secret. Care to be my partner in crime?" A dimple danced, too far gone in mischief.

And—

"Hey, you—"

Elena tapped her nose, winking. No doubt she realized that he knew why the phrase seemed familiar; he had been in a situation quite similar to this.

"Our lie."

* * *


	8. some advice

**all **_that_ jazz

theme 18: some advice

* * *

I.

When bribing Rude, use chocolate chip biscuits. Homemade. None of that—cheap, sticky _crap_. Real, honest-to-the-Planet, doughy goodness that just melts at the first touch, little sparks of heaven that are already preparing you to lift-off. So: homemade chocolate chip biscuits. With a dash of orange zest.

… if he's in a particularly _jolly_ mood, then he may be partial to a bit of steak, red wine, and Beethoven murmuring in the background.

But be warned: only use the alternative if you're _absolutely positive_ that Rude is in a good mood.

He's a man of class, but does love the simple pleasures life, home bakery being one of them.

II.

Do not mention dwarves, elves or Halflings to Reno.

Not if you don't want to be plagued by nightmares, or driven to insomnia by the continuous chant, croon, croak of 'They're Taken The Hobbits To Isengard' for the next lunar cycle.

Elena and Rude may smite you because of it. Maybe just Reno. Or do both.

III.

Train spotting.

If you let your thoughts go any further, then you're in trouble. The why, wherefore, the how, the direction, the carefully chosen colours, the improvements, the historical past, the blunders and comparisons with possible future, current past, and fashion trends of trains past, will be carefully and accurately detailed by Elena, by the next morning and drag you off to the nearest station that has concealable blushes.

She will never forget the binoculars. Or her lucky train – the legend of it only appearing once before her eager eyes at the tender age of three.

To remedy this problem, prepare a picnic basket the previous day; and drown out her incessant chatter by sneaking an iPod or mp3 player, and remember to smile and nod as she turns to look at you. Pull faces at her when she's not looking to make you feel better is acceptable.

But very importantly: do not say anything, not a word; since it's the only way to eventually shut her up.

IV.

Try as you might, the three of them are inseparable. So don't bother crossing them.

Their greatest weakness is each other.

Their greatest strength is each other.

* * *


	9. rainy day friend

**all **_that_ jazz

theme 14: rainy day friend

* * *

The problem with rain was that there was no way that three people could fit under an umbrella and stay _completely_ dry.

Oh, the trio tried.

Making Elena a monkey on Rude's back and holding the umbrella, the result was that Reno got soaked.

Trying to lengthen the umbrella was an epic failure – somehow the umbrella turned into a flailing octopus – all three of them getting drenched.

And others, too horrible to imagine.

So now, when it's a rainy day, they've struck out a deal:

The first person to arrive without an umbrella – running, screaming and sopping wet… had dibs on the shower, the warm water eternally a friend.

The second person to arrive without an umbrella – stumbling, groaning and saturated with rain… was allowed to relax and watch the TV, grabbing a towel and a blanket.

The third person to arrive without an umbrella – walking, shivering and dripping water, with every squeak… was meant to cook dinner, once they had dried themselves off.

As hard as it was to believe, being third had benefits: the winner had to help the loser cook, and when the third person was diagnosed with a fever the next day, both the first and second person had to wait hand and food for the third. Cue the melodrama and suffering, the killer headaches and _Rude; will you buy me my favourite candy bar? I just __**know**__ that it's going to make me feel better…_

And both Reno and Elena looked _adorable_ in those maid outfits, because Rude was so _certain_ that the visual imagery would help him recover…

Rainy days, all in all, were fun. Because they all got the next day off work; knowing that, really, the three of them should be there to take care of each other.

They can't function any other way.

* * *


	10. argument

**all **_that_ jazz

theme 12: argument

* * *

Really.

It must be a Reno thing.

That's what Rude, the innocent bystander that just _happened_ to be there and could not move – for fear of being spotted and put in to the argument – concluded, after Reno had done, yet another, '_classically Reno' mistake._

… he kissed 'Lena.

Which was wrong in itself: _nobody kissed 'Lena!_

Because – because she was their _sister_, who would never get a boyfriend and wouldn't need to! She'd grow old and alone and with them, so technically, she'd be wouldn't need another guy that wasn't them.

In retrospect, or was it hindsight, it was just an impulsive decision to shut the bickering up. And in Reno's book, it never failed. Usually.

But—_still!_

Rude can't deny how good it felt for him to see Elena give Reno a whopping black eye.

And Elena looked pretty damn proud of herself too.

* * *


	11. hidden treasure

**all **_that_ jazz

theme 05: hidden treasure

* * *

"Please don't tell me we wasted the entire day, burning down Hojo's laboratory, which I will never regret – but on this occasion I might, for the sake of a _missing teddy bear!_" Reno scowled, raking his red hair back.

"… maybe." Elena shyly smiled, squirming ever so slightly.

Her hands tightened protectively against Splodge, a teddy with patchwork fur and a missing button eye.

"Oh, look!" Rude attempted melodrama. "The bear has lost an eye. Somebody call the doctor immediately!"

Cue the gasp and glassy, weeping eyes.

"I can't see anyone." Elena sniffed, holding the bear out. "It's you, Rude, it _has_ to be _you._ Save my Splodge, because only you can save him!"

"With pleasure, ma'am. A good friend always carries a button and needlework with them." Quite macho, Rude attempted to continue the act in a gruff voice, pulling out the correct needle size. "And may I say, ma'am, that you have a _stupendous_ uppercut when punching the lights out of Hojo."

"I learn from the best." Elena blushed, giggling.

"Oh my god." Reno blinked, possibly blind from the stranger's actions, previously known as Rude. "Elena, I think you _broke_ Rude. You made him… _weird_. And what the hell is up with that bear?"

"Secret." She grinned brightly, actually skipping in joy.

Reno would never know that Splodge was Rude's welcoming gift to Elena for initiating into the Turks.

Because _all_ the elite have patchwork teddy bears named Splodge, no matter how hidden they were from the world.

* * *


	12. gifts

**all **_that_ jazz

theme 02: gifts

* * *

So.

Reno had a problem.

It wasn't a _bad_ problem, but all the same, it was hard to solve. Well, no. It wasn't. But… it needed to be the _right_ solution, not a _wrong_ one. And therein lay the difficulty.

Thanks to his ultra-cool lock picking and rummaging the house; Reno already knew that Rude had given him an awesome game, and Elena had given him quite a snazzy ascot, so… how he was to repay them by giving them equally awesome stuff?

"Hmm…"

* * *

"Reno! It's adorable!" Elena squealed. "I love it so much!"

"…" Rude's silence roughly translated to: _don't tell me you nabbed it from some poor person, did you?_

Reno only grinned, looking fairly modest. "Well, it just came to me, you know? We're never gonna have kids, or if we do, it's gonna be hard raising them up. This way we can _definitely_ have a lineage."

"Absolutely!" The blonde Turk cheered.

"… yes. If we make Spuhluka and her boyfriend and their future kids our heirs."

"There'll be _millions_ of them!" Reno sighed wistfully, imagining all those chocobo babies, descended from the greatest of all Turks: _him._

"There will be a time, where chocobos will be the superior race, and it'll be all thanks to us!"

Correction: _them._

* * *


	13. fair trade

**all **_that_ jazz

theme 23: fair trade

* * *

"This is my final offer." Elena gave a firm nod, eyes hard. "This is the only compromise that I'm willing to give. Do you accept?"

Reno and Rude quietly discussed this in hushed whispers. It was a hard decision to make, especially since Elena's bags were packed and hanging by the door. If they accepted, they may be richly rewarded. If they refused, well, Tseng may just have their heads.

"Guys! C'mon. Just say _yes! _Tseng wants me to get a first-hand experience of what a Turk should do. That, unofficially, also includes living with them. If you want," Elena pouted, desperate and changing her policy, "it can be temporary. I – I just need an idea. And living with you guys is the best way to do that."

"Hmm." Rude considered this, cursing his soft spot for her. "How _long_ would this be?"

_Crap._ Reno noted, eyes widening perceptively. _Rude's caving._

"Mm… a month? Maybe two?" Elena guessed, looking distastefully round their apartment. "I'll clean for free?"

"Done!" Reno slammed his fist on the table, sealing the deal and shocking Rude. "You're in forever. Rude, go and get the vacuum cleaner _and_ tidy up the spare bed. I _always_ knew that we needed it for something."

Taking, a rather stunned, Elena's hand, he leaned in and murmured: "Thank you. Rude is _such_ a pig to live with. You have no idea that all this mess is caused because of him."

"… really?" Rude arched an eyebrow, not amused. "Huh. I guess that makes you, Reno, off the Jacuzzi and television for two months. Straight. Starting now."

"Oh dammit!" Reno creased his forehead, remembering a bunch of stuff that he generally ignored. All involving Rude and his Rules. "There was a _really_ good show on today—"

"No." And that, Rude was quite satisfied to say, was that.

"Okay, 'Lena. Careful what you say around Rude, since he's a tyrant when things comes to his stuff. You get strikes and warnings and redemption and stuff if you adhere to his rules, but, just don't I that I didn't warn you."

Elena, however, wasn't listening. "You have a Jacuzzi?" Her ears perked up.

"Tis right this way." A perfect gentleman, Rude led her towards the luxuries of the apartment; the original terms forgotten, the changed terms accepted.

* * *


	14. a favour

**all **_that_ jazz

theme 22: a favour

* * *

"Hey—"

"No."

"What?" Blinking, hurt layered into the voice. "You don't even know—"

"Oh, I'm sure I don't even _want_ to know. The answer is still no."

Silence.

"… is this about last time?" The voice sounded rather peeved.

A heavy breath. A flicked page.

"What happened last time?"

"It… uh, involved you seducing some creepy person who was actually attracted to me?"

"Actually, no. That was before last time."

"Right… well. Okay. Could you care to remind me?"

A wince.

"…"

A sigh.

"I love it when you say nothing at all; it really explains everything."

Tick. Tock.

"Seriously! I can't remember every stunt I do! Give me a hand, here!"

Another long pause.

"… clowns."

"What?"

"I said '… clowns'."

"Clowns… _ah_." Realization flittered, as did shame.

"I never wish to experience that ever again."

"You won't." A fervent promise.

"I was scarred for life. Traumatized, one might say."

Another might say that the second voice was milking it for all it's worth.

"I know. I'm sorry. It won't happen again." The head hanging in shame could only hang for so long; and soon looked up, hopeful. "So, you'll listen to my—"

"_No._"

* * *


	15. the third wheel

**all **_that_ jazz

theme 09: the third wheel

* * *

**1.**

"Good morning sunshine! Don't you look fabulous today? Don't _I _look fabulous today?"

A sigh, an awkward shoulder roll, and: "… hello, Reno."

"Well, hello, Rude. Do you know – or have you guessed it – I'm _finally_ out of the accursed hospital!" Flouncing, Reno melded with the scenery of lush grass, a clear blue sky and flowers floating in the air, as he threw them up, golden in morning of stupendous bliss—

"And… who's this?" Green eyes blinked wide, like an innocent bunny rabbit flopping its ears and scrunching his nose right before an eagle came and killed it; Reno curiously inspected the blushing blonde stranger. "Your girlfriend? Or my future wife?"

Flustered, the blonde woman straightened up, cheeks vermillion. "I am certainly not!"

"Whoa, chill, babe." Reno waved the anger away with a flick of his hand. "I'm just messing. Who are you?"

"I'm—" She stopped, when Rude placed his hand on her shoulder.

"She's Elena. The newest recruit." Rude explained, in a rather gentle tone.

Elena wondered if actually, being a Turk for her stoic mentor was the wrong profession, since he appeared to have such a gentle manner.

"… oh." And the change that happened was unexpected, and completely Reno. "Bye Rude."

He strutted off, his red hair shimmering in the air, determined to never acknowledge the newest recruit ever again.

Rude snorted. "… I knew he'd act like this. Freaking egoist."

Elena was understandable shaken.

**2.**

"Good morning star shine! Rude, hello. Cheryl, hi. Tracy, let go out sometime." Gleaming into a smile, he ignored a fellow Stranger That Must Never Be Associated With. "Tseng! Top of the morning, boss."

The Stranger That Must Never Be Associated With looked liked It was about to burst into tears.

"… Reno." Tseng stiffly greeted. "You're here early."

"Indeed. Feels like it's my lucky day today." His smile _felt_ magnificent, even if it might not look it. Oh wait, Reno caught himself dazzled in the reflection of the mirror. His smile _looked_ magnificent.

_He_ was magnificent. How much better could his day get?

"You have a mission." Tseng's smile, for all its rumour to be renowned for his stiff upper lip, looked rather snarky.

"With who?"

And the world stopped.

"Elena."

Despite looking utterly crestfallen, Reno still thought his smile was magnificent considering the terrible, _terrible_ turn of events.

**3.**

"I'll never believe in Lucky Days again." Reno miserably sighed, nursing a beer, and wondering if he could find the meaning of life within the bottom of the bottle. "Not if they include… _it._"

"Oh, be quiet, princess." Rude scowled, nothing short of amused. "The mission was a success."

"The mission was a success." Reno agreed, and then returned to his slumped posture. "_It—_"

"Elena." He couldn't help it, he had grown fond of the quirky girl.

"_Elena,_ then, was a complete failure."

"And…" With the attitude of an accomplished psychiatrist, Rude sparkled his shirt to catch the attention of the pretty barmaid. "Why is this?"

"Because – not only did she save my life by acting like a complete spaz; but somehow endeared herself to me. She's cute, that girl." Reno wrinkled his nose, disproving of the emotions that he couldn't erase. "Too cute, and so easy to wind up. I can't resist teasing her."

"… she still thinks that you hate her." Rude sighed, as Elena arrived, looking strangely out of place before beaming as she recognized them, fitting into place.

"It'll be a while for Elena to realize it, but I have faith in her." Reno admitted, downing the rest of his drink.

**4.**

… or maybe he didn't, when Elena crashed the car due to her jitterbug nature.

Which was, incidentally, how she saved Reno; and that jitterbug nature would always continue to surprise Rude.

* * *


	16. true friends stab you in the front

**all **_that_ jazz

theme 24: true friends stab you in the front

* * *

"I hate you. So much."

"…"

"You have no idea how much I _hate_ you right now, Rude."

Darkly. "… I have a fair amount."

"Eh? How do you know?"

"Because, Elena, you've been saying it for the past hour or so. If I hadn't noticed that, then I'd have _no_ clue." Sometimes, Rude really loved the amount of sarcasm he could inject into his baritone voice.

"… I see…"

"Besides, you really shouldn't blame me. It was the Golden Saucer, after all. They've had plenty of injuries before thanks to—" Rude promptly shut up.

"You were going to say 'thanks to awful actors', weren't you?" Suspiciously, and quite grumpily, Elena stabbed her mashed potato. It didn't even _mash_ properly!

"Well…" Rude had never known when to open his mouth, so usually kept it shut. Unfortunately, it was apparently loosening his control whenever he was around Elena. "… maybe?"

"Alright. You're forgiven – on account of it being the Golden Saucer and because you're honest. And I like you. That counts too." Elena smiled, her anger abated, before succumbing to the darkness of her heart once more. "Although you didn't have to comply with the audience's wishes."

"They said 'kill the witch'. I killed the witch." Rude objectified. "Knights kill witches. I was a knight. You were a witch."

"And what about the audience that screamed, 'Witch! Break his leg and bite his nose! Quite hard!' Do you see me… ah… well. Technically… I didn't actually _bite_ your nose." Elena began to make a circle on the duvet, giving Rude's leg a side ways glance. She hadn't meant to do it, it was _peer pressure!_

"… did you try that before or after the sword stabbed you in the gut?"

"After." Hiding her face in the duvet, Elena moaned, embarrassed by the whole debacle. "Definitely after. And before you broke your leg."

"If this ever gets out, Reno is going to tease us for eternity." However lovely the thought, glaring at his broken leg would not make his healing faster, would not make his leg mend, and would not make Reno eventually discover this… mishap.

"… it's already 'gotten out'," Elena bitterly replied, wondering if she could submerge herself into the cushiony bed. "Reno was filming the whole event. From the minute, we were chosen because were arguing about potato chips, to the gaudy costumes we had to wear, to the epic fail lines, to submitting to the peer pressure, to the fight, to falling off the stage, to ending up where we are now."

There was no use trying to stifle it any longer: Rude groaned.

Despite that, he was strangely smug about the whole situation.

"I still maintain the fact that I looked better in my shiny helmet and red cape than you did with your witch's hat and black shawl."

* * *


	17. late night conversation

**all **_that_ jazz

theme 03: late night conversation

* * *

"Tell me I'm right: it was the cuteness that suckered you in." Elena said, chucking popcorn into her mouth, comfortable on the sofa.

"Well…" Reno shifted, the light emitted beginning to blind his eyes. "… maybe?"

"… possibly?" Rude admitted, lifting the pet chocobo into the air. _This_ was what boredom made them do.

"See?" Elena grinned. "That wasn't so hard now, was it?"

Okay. So they hadn't quite told her that she was right, but was close enough and that was alright for now.

"Is it time for another vote?" Reno drawled, reaching out for another DVD, "'cause you already know mine."

"… I'm in." Rude nodded, seconding the vote. "And you, Elena?"

"The vote is unanimous. We're in for another round." The blonde Turk cheered, not tired in the least. "I always knew that you guys were closet romantics."

"Shut up, 'Lena."

The seconds ticked by; dawn was slow to come, still within the arms of twinkling stars dazzling before midnight.

Elena merely grinned. "I love Disney. This time, let's all join in and sing-along!"

A collective groan.

"Aw, you know you want to."

… it was so sad to know that Elena was right.

There was silence once more. And so, with dramatic tension, _Beauty and the Beast _began to play.

* * *


	18. a night out

**all **_that_ jazz

theme 10: a night out

* * *

"D'ya know what I really hate?"

"… what?" Rude's fairly certain that he'd heard this conversation before. If it's not Reno, it's him. If it's not him, it's—

"Reputation."

… _what?_

"Because we're Turks, does that actually mean that we have to _pay more for our food?_ Does our ordered pizza and ice cream have to _cost extra than the average customer?_" Directing her anger at the overhearing waiter, Elena glared across the room, melting the ice cream with her ire.

"Elena. Careful. Direct your Evil Eye with diligence." Rude advised, slurping a milkshake.

"Right."

The ice cream stopped melting; and the waiter started.

* * *

"What did I miss?" Reno asked, sliding back into his seat.

"Elena using her Turk prowess. If she keeps at it, we might actually get our meal for free." Rude informed his red-haired cohort, munching on garlic bread; placidly watching the verbal spar between Elena and the waiter. Perhaps, Rude mused, she might actually get a date out of the whole ordeal. But he wouldn't want _that_ to happen.

Rude didn't notice Reno stealing a slice of cheesy pizza.

"Awesome."

… and there was a sickening _crack!_

* * *

"So." Reno cheerfully asked. "Where are we going next week?"

* * *


	19. jealousy

**all **_that_ jazz

theme 17: jealousy

* * *

"Tell me."

"No."

"_Tell_ _me._"

"No." A laugh.

"Tell me!" But still, Reno persisted.

"What do you want me to say?" Elena threw him an amused glance, hands on her hips. "That I like him more than you? It doesn't _matter_!"

"But 'Laney… I want to know." Truthfully, Reno knew that it didn't matter. But his curiosity was piqued, and so, he _had_ to know.

"Okay. Fine. You know what? I'll tell you." Elena relented, giving in to his request. "You ready?"

"Hit me."

"With pleasure." She punched his shoulder, teasing him. "… I choose our darling pet chocobo."

"You're avoiding the question." Reno pouted.

"Exactly." Elena smothered a smile, glancing at the distant Rude. "I will never choose between you; so I pick Spuhluka."

"Huh." Reno nodded. "Fair game."

But internally, he wondered. What had a chocobo got that he hadn't?

* * *


	20. walk beside me

**all **_that_ jazz

theme 04: walk beside me

* * *

Their hands fit perfectly in hers. Odd, how Elena had never noticed it before.

Like a child, she led them on, feeling the sand beneath her feet, the wind through her hair, and the glow of the sleeping sun bask on her skin.

"We're nearly there."

Rude, on her left, tilted his head, slightly incredulous. She'd been saying that for the past ten minutes.

"… and how, sweet cheeks, do you know that?" Reno arched an eyebrow, on her left, never once letting go of her hand.

"Because." Elena flashed them both a smile. "I found the ultra deluxe cake shop, the best in all of Costa Del Sol, and it's standing right in front of us."

The sea may have washed away their footprints, but the memories of laughter and sun kissed hands still remained.

* * *


	21. common ground

**all **_that_ jazz

theme 21: common ground

* * *

"Ready?"

"Ready."

It's typical of them. To come to this decision – this way to end _all_ things, for this method that they chose was finality for them.

"Rock – paper – scissors!"

One – two – three!

And the verdict was—

"Dammit! Not again!"

Reno didn't know _how_ they did it, but he knew that they always cheated.

* * *


	22. practice

**all **_that_ jazz

theme 27: practice

* * *

Concentration was the key.

"Once, when I was a boy, I ran stark naked down the streets of Midgar."

_Bang!_

Bulls-eye. A smile tugged at the corner of her lips, but Elena continued to focus.

"… I couldn't read for ages because I was afraid that the characters would come to life and eat me."

_Bang!_

A little off centre, but still good. Bemused, she wondered if that was true.

"Rude cries in his sleep!"

_Bang!_

A little more off centre, but still good. She shouldn't listen to them.

"Reno is the one who steals your eyeliner."

_Bang!_

The shots… were gradually getting worse. And the distractions were getting petty.

"Rude tried to replace you with a cat!"

_Bang!_

"Reno snaffles your food when he knows you're not looking!"

_Bang!_

"I do not _snaffle!_ Rude bakes cookies and doesn't let you eat any!"

_Bang!_

"Lie. If you asked, I would. Reno is the one who messes the apartment up and takes your clothes _especially_ so you can cosplay!"

_Bang!_

The gun hit the wall.

Forget concentration, the _both of them_ were going _down._

* * *


	23. forgiveness

**all **_that_ jazz

theme 25: forgiveness

* * *

"This is bribery. Not an apology."

"… I'm sorry; would you prefer a chocolate fountain? It's a little hard to find a present when I'm still incapacitated and hospital." Elena sneezed, wrapping an extra blanket around her, still shivering.

"Could you get one?" Reno asked, kind of curious, letting him be detracted from his anger for a second.

"Maybe." Elena mused, thinking that a chocolate fountain really would spruce their apartment up…

"Reno." Rude sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Don't get off topic."

"Right!" Reno nodded, serious once more. "We're flattered that you'd choose hospital food as bribery, but we refuse. Can't stand the stuff."

"…" Pouting slightly, Elena what she could do to make it up to her friends. "How… why—"

"We had to." Rude said simply, ruffling her messy hair. "When we discovered that you'd disappeared, and the reason was obvious to us instantly – and… there was no option. We had to go after you… because you're one of us."

_And we love you._

"Turks look after each other. We've got each other's backs." Reno confirmed this, flicking her forehead, mirroring the unsaid sentiment.

"… but I…"

"We're strong when you're weak. We're your pillar, you're our support. We tease you, you make us laugh. It's us. We are the Turks; three of a kind, now and forever." Reno aeroplaned the food into Elena's mouth. "So get better, 'cause we've got a lot more to teach you."

"Guys, I'm sorry. Really, I am."

"Nah, it's nothing." Reno shrugged, unmoved by her apology, but accepting it nonetheless. "You're bound to mess up at some point. That's why we're here to take care of you. But listen, if you _ever_ put Tseng before us again, we're not going to be so tolerant next time."

"… 'kay." Scrunching up her face as she swallowed another piece of food, Elena made a mental note to separate her head from her heart; although if next time, someone had insulted these two, she wasn't so sure that she would be able to control her emotions so easily. "I'll keep it in mind."

"Good."

Silence.

"… did you really deck Strife?" Rude suddenly asked, wondering if the two SOLDIERs' reports were true.

"Yep! Momentum wasn't enough to stop me from tumbling down though…" Elena opened her mouth, ready for the incoming airplane with sound effects.

_Munch. _

"… d'ya really know a guy who can get us a chocolate fountain?"

* * *


	24. golden thread

**all **_that_ jazz

theme 28: golden thread

* * *

His hands were really starting to hurt.

_Smile. Look pretty. Give them your most flirtatious glance._ Elena had said, as she had neatly tied his hands up with golden thread, unaware that she hadn't told him that she was an expert in the art of tying knots. Because it was really hard to break it.

And besides, he _always_ looked _pretty!_ Well. Handsome. But pretty was just another word for handsome, so in the end, it was a moot point.

The lights flashed on.

Reno smiled, his most flirtatious glance melting all the female spectators, although internally, he was seething.

Next time, _they_ were going to be part of a theatre production so they could assassinate their latest target: the lead actor.

He would have done the task immediately… had the job not appealed to his theatrical nature.

The red haired Turk always liked to have centre stage, and what better way to do that by killing the actor with a bang?

* * *


	25. long distance

**all **_that_ jazz

theme 13: long-distance

* * *

I.

_You have 2 new messages._

"_Hey, Rude? Elena, here. I'm on a mission, but can you be sure to restock the fridge? We're running out of Jaffa Cakes."_

"_Rude? Yo, it's Reno. Operation Secret is now in progress. If I die, remember: just burn all of Elena's belonging. I mean __**all **__of them. Keep some of my stuff if you like."_

Rude just rolled his eyes, but complied with Elena's request. He could always re-enact the lunar cycle to the budding chocobo family if he was truly bored.

And actually, he might just 'borrow' a few things of Reno's stuff…

II.

_You have 1 new message._

"_Reno? Elena, here – I'm just wondering if you read the post-it notes from Rude? If not, can you buy the latest season of Gossip Girl? Pretty, pretty please? Don't you dare—"_

_Message deleted._

Post-it notes, post-it notes, wherefore art thou, post-it notes?

Ah-hah!

_Buy the Gossip Girl DVDS. __**Please.**_

… _I'll even make your favourite meal._

_Just don't make me go through that endless torture that happened last time._

Reno snorted, and tore the post-it note in the bin. There. All evidence had now been disposed of.

… and there was going to be hell to pay when the both of them got back.

III.

_You have 6 new messages._

"'_Laney, promise me – absolutely promise me that you will not go into my room. And if you do, then __**don't**__ open the wardrobe. There are plenty of skeletons that you don't want to see. Trust me."_

"_Elena. Forget everything Reno has told you. He has a huge amount of chocolate stash in there. Open the door, open the closet. Shoot any skeleton with that gun you use."_

"What?" Elena blinked, wondering if this was a bet between the two of them, just because they were away.

"_Remember those strawberries that you asked me for a while back? Well, this time, I'll get them. Promise. Just stay the hell away from my room."_

"_Elena, I'm sorry to inform you that Reno is a liar. Enter his room, and I guarantee that you'll get your strawberries."_

"Um…" Either way, it seemed that she'd get strawberries. So, maybe… she should flip a coin?

"_Seriously, 'Lena! When have I have __**ever**__ lied to you? Don't answer that."_

"_Elena, I'm so sorry to also inform you that he has taken your most prized possession. I tried to stop him but—"_

The message ended there.

And Elena slowly crept towards Reno's room, unable to shy away from her curiosity, grabbing a pillow as a shield.

The door slowly creaked open.

And, Elena screamed, breaking the windows.

_You have 1 new message._

"_Yo. Reno and Rude here. Hope you enjoyed our prank. Can you get us marshmallows for our return and make fondue for us?"_

* * *


	26. a night in

**all **_that_ jazz

theme 11: a night in

* * *

"Once upon a time, there were three Turks. And every day, there was a blonde Elly-locks, whose hair was… uh…"

"… pretty as the sun." Rude supplied.

"Right! Pretty as the sun, but not as blinding. Anyway, she visited the three Turks in hope of… finding a magic slipper. And this magic slipper could grant wishes – because it had a genie inside it. And this genie granted as many wishes as the wielder wanted, because…"

"… it just couldn't wait to be king." The bald Turk completed the sentence.

"The king genie was the one who granted the most wishes!" Reno snapped his fingers, continuing. "So. One day, Elly-locks was feeling particularly mischievous and decided to use the standard bucket-and-door trick… and so giddy was she in her excitement for her prank to take effect…" Reno trailed off, leaving an ominous pause.

"… she forgot where she left it." Rude shook his head, grave. "Bad mistake."

Elena sneezed. "Ah-choo!"

"And _splash_ went the bucket on her head. Oh dear, dear Elly-locks. So naïve…" Reno clucked his tongue, raking his head back. "That day, the three Turks, who decided to kick the third member out, on account of being an arrogant prat… chose to use the goodness of their hearts, and take sweet Elly-locks inside."

"… these two Turks would only do so _if_ Elly-locks promised never to look for the magic slipper again." Rude lowered his sunglasses, noticing that Elena was finally asleep.

"Let's hope she learnt her lesson." Leaning on the door, Reno switched the light off, lingering for a moment longer. "'Night, Elly-locks."

* * *


	27. lunchtime

**all **_that_ jazz

theme 19: lunchtime

* * *

The Turks were the Elite.

They ate with no-one but themselves.

Tseng was the exception to this rule, preferring to mingle with the higher-ups. And that was fine; since the Turk Trio considered him to be in another league of his own.

* * *

Elena burst into tears.

"What do you mean, I can't join you?"

"Oh don't try that, sweet cheeks." Reno looked away, knowing that the second he met her brown eyes, he'd give in. "Rules are rules. You cannot have lunch with us unless you prove yourself. And so far? You haven't." Damn that girl for making him feel bad for making her cry. "You may fool others with your teary act, but not me."

"But I… I brought tacos. And gobstoppers. And Heroes. And sandwiches! I brought the sandwiches that you asked for!" Elena's eyes became glassy and shimmery.

"Yes. Yes, you did, 'Lena. But you forgot the pocky sticks. And that," Reno shook his head, grave, "is unforgivable. You cannot dine with us today."

"But—"

"Rules are rules, 'Laney. I can't go against them."

"… but I also brought a whole pack of unopened alcohol, fresh from the fridge." Elena sniffed, walking away.

Oh. Well, that changed things.

"Come in! Come in! Come dine with us." Reno opened the door with vigour, letting the Rookie Turk join them.

* * *

… Reno was exiled from the Turk's dining room for the day.

The rules were absolute.

If Elena didn't go, Reno had to, for breaking them.

For Rude's word was as good as law.

* * *


	28. silver lining

**all **_that_ jazz

theme 29: silver lining

* * *

"_You've_ _got my back!_" Elena scorned, piggybacking Rude's back. "Yeah, right. You _liar!"_

"Whoa, 'Lena, I didn't know—"

"You didn't know that woman, who was, dare I mention, _locked in a __**passionate**__ embrace with you_?" Raging, Elena wondered if firing her gun was possible in her current situation. "Total stranger, was she? You'd never before? Random women _just_ have the urge to instantly kiss you when they see you in the room?"

"Well, _yeah._" It might be the wrong answer to Elena's ears, but for Reno, it was totally right. "'Sides, you don't think that you're acting a bit… jealous?"

"Me? No. I'm acting like this for _our_ _best interests._ Unlike you, mister womanizer, who has lost our client!" Huffing, Elena added. "It's not me who made him set the dogs on us because you were snogging his wife! Or made us run for our life. That blame, Reno, is solely with you!"

"Okay, fine. I admit, what I did wasn't exactly right, but… have you got a better idea on how to get out of this situation. I get credit for running."

"Uh…" _Oh crap. _

They had reached a dead end, and the barking was getting even more ferocious.

"What are we going to do now?" Her voice was a meek squeak.

Rude sighed, took a deep breath, and composed himself. Which wasn't easy to do when two buzzing bees liked to bicker a lot, only digging holes for themselves, and not finding the solution to the problem; but that, Rude supposed, was why they had him.

"Don't worry, I have a plan."

* * *


	29. promise?

**all **_that_ jazz

theme 06: promise?

* * *

Elena. Stuck in a tree. With a cat.

… it's not as bad as it sounded.

Unless, of course, it was Rude trying to get Elena to jump, and Elena was refusing to jump because, despite her noble intentions to rescue the cat, had forgotten that she was afraid of heights. As it was, petting the cat was the only source of comfort that she had at the moment.

"… Elena. Please jump." His pleading skills might need some work, but his intentions were direct, and that was what counted at the moment.

"No! I won't. It's… too scary." Terrified, Elena hugged the tree further, clinging to it for her dear life. "I'm not going to jump!"

"… but I'll… I'll catch you." The bald Turk told her, taking deep, calm breaths. "Trust me."

"And what if you don't? What if I'll go _splat?_"

"Elena…"

"And what about the cat? Will you look after it in my honour and name it 'Laney' and make it a member because of me? 'Cause I want this cat to be friends with Spuhluka, and her fluffy family!"

It was not the first time that Elena had let her imagination run away with her, but it was the first time that Elena heard Rude swear.

"No, Elena, I promise that you won't go 'splat'. I promise that I'll catch you each and every time you jump. And save the cat."

"… you sure…?" It was both a mixture of adorability and annoyance that Elena still retained childlike qualities.

"Yes."

"Okay, but… I'm still not gonna jump. Can you just call Reno and ask him to get the ladder again?"

* * *


	30. friends forever

**all **_that_ jazz

theme 30: friends forever

* * *

Rude was the one to ask the question.

"Will you marry me?"

Elena immediately accepted, and Reno eventually agreed, if only to escape the latest batch of 'girlfriends-that-he's-not-interested-in-anymore'.

Reno was the one who bought the rings.

The 'marriage' meant different things to them: Rude wanted a commitment, someone he could depend on officially; Elena wanted the security of forever, knowing that she was never alone; and Reno always wanted to try new things. Of course, this meant that he could technically cheat, as none of the trio viewed each other romantically, but… that didn't make the 'marriage' any less special.

Rufus performed the ceremony, Tseng gave Elena away… and their pet chocobo carried the rings. It was family, and as far as they were concerned, it was official, because it was done with the people they love.

Elena kept the photo on the mantelpiece, so that she could always remember that lovely day forever.

The marriage didn't always work: their personalities conflicting to much, volatile by nature and quite random, hit and miss a very appropriate term to call it. Marriage counselling never happened, all three of them too lazy to go; and the three of them knew that whatever dilemmas they had, they would eventually work it out. Many bruises, black eyes, concussions were proof of that; talking rationally aside. Besides, out of the three of them, the neutral party would very often succeed when playing peace maker. Then again, losing their temper or blanking them often worked just as well.

But most of the time, they fit like pieces of a puzzle: fun loving and sweet and teasing, playful one moment and serious the next, always out for each other's backs. Things never got boring, squabbling ended up in laughter, and the connection that tethered all of them together was so clear to see, that it was meant to be the three of them. Plus, a marriage got great discounts in Tifa's bar; as all three of them drunkenly giggled and raised their ring finger as proof, the barmaid snorting in amusement.

They're happy together.

Because that was who they were: Rude and Elena and Reno, three of a kind. Now and forever.

* * *

**a/n.** _Thank you very much for reading, hope you enjoyed!_


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